Monday, February 20, 2012

peace

Spent the past weekend at my dad's with my little husband, my sweet niece, Ana, and the Mercy dog!  This trip has always been a bit fraught with....what????
I love the time I get to visit with my dad.  We cook soup (something that he did all of our lives growing up), we watch TV, we take walks with the dog, we sit quietly, we listen respectfully to the same stories over and over and over and understand that they are new to him each time he tells them.  We laugh at the funny parts.
I always take something to create.  He watches and critiques....he is the other artist in the family.  This is what I took to finish this time...

...and it struck me that no matter what the visit is fraught with...anxiety, sadness, possibilities, stress...I can choose peace.

I can choose to remember who my dad was and learn to love and appreciate who he is now...who he is becoming.  I can choose to be his peaceful place where he is accepted and enjoyed.  I see some bright spots...he had made soup on his own sometime this week and it was seriously yummy!  Our Mercy girl seems to understand, too.  She will go outside with him, but won't go for a walk with him if one of us isn't there...and that's a good thing.  He couldn't hold her if she decided to go adventuring!  He knew Ana and was thrilled she was there.  When we hold hands to pray, he rubs the top of my hand with his thumb....ahhh, peace.

peace....choose peace when you can....

7 comments:

Karyn said...

Ok, now, it is infinitely harder to comment while I have tears in my eyes. *sniff, sniff... I am so happy to hear you had a wonderful visit. I am sure your father loves having someone in the house who accepts him, as is. There are so few people in any of our lives who are like that. They are precious.

Peace is a magical thing. It can take so much of the pain, sorrow, turmoil out of a situation instantly. It is the peace that passes all understanding. It is such welcome relief. Thank you for sharing your peace with us. I hope we can all find a little more of it in our most stressful situations.

Donna said...

It is the peace that passes understanding....it is a gift, but it is also a choice! We must choose peace. He is happy to have us there...he says he is, his face shows he is.
And I love you and accept you even though you are all fit and fabulous and precious to me!

K said...

Beautifully written, D. The problem with it is that it takes doing. I don't know why we don't decide to do this and then simply let go and do it - more often. I have a friend whose parents both went the way of your dad and my folks - but I was surprised, every time I talked to her - at her fresh anger and frustration every time she came up against hearing the same story over and over - that and the other things. Every time she tells me about it, I feel quizzical - is it that she expects this ever to change? That she somehow thinks that her mother will learn to remember again? that the attitudes her mother strikes are something that mother should be held responsible for? When you can't let go of what was and reconcile yourself to the reality of time and wear, you never have peace. Sometimes sorrow simply has to be accepted and held. I learn this as I go back through the pictures of our lives - remembering wonderful things that are now gone, and terrible experiences - that are also now gone.

You put it very simply, and stitched it clearly. And I needed to see that.

Donna said...

It is what it is. I have not always been this way. I spent many long years being the one to say....yes, but it is WRONG and it needs fixed! Mostly about school stuff. It is interesting that my role has changed from change bringer to peace bringer. I think there is a time for being the change agent, but that time is not now for me.
I am so happy that God keeps drawing me closer and closer to Him and his heart of love, his way of peace. Like you say, it doesn't always come naturally...but I can choose anew again and again! Thanks, K, for reading and sharing.

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Beautiful, beautiful post, Donna. Chosing peace... and kindness... it is the good thing. Love your artwork, too!! It is beautiful as well! Hope you have a wonderful week. blessings ~ Tanna

Baa-Me Kniits said...

Your visit sounds like it was healing for both you and your Dad. I think being in the moment is a special skill that more people could embrace, it does bring Peace but like you said you have a choice and you have to work at it. I tell my boys all the time that they have a choice.

Love the felt embroidery, is it going to be a wall hanging?

Donna said...

Jenni, the visits are good for both of us and it is a skill I am developing as I get older....must be a little of that age and wisdom thing.
The peace art work is actually a framed piece - probably 10x14 frame. Might want to try a few more important words to hang with this one.