Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Little Sad

I couldn't put this in the earlier post from today because as someone has pointed out, that post already had several topics covered.
We went into the school today to get a last load of things from Stevie's room to put in the storage facility (that may blow up any moment is so stuffed!).
I looked into "my" room and it made me sad.  It isn't mine anymore.  There are so many changes in the school this year that it is hardly my school at all anymore. 
How is it that you can give a place 30 years of your life and when you walk out, you are no more?
Don't get me wrong, I know the kids will remember and be part of my legacy forever, but "my" space is not there anymore in any way.
A little sad.
But, I have been so busy this summer that I have not even realized that school starts in one week from tomorrow.  Any other year my summer would have been long over as I spent this time in my class dreaming and planning for the coming year and the wee ones in my care.  I don't think I miss that...pretty sure I don't.  It was time to take a break from all that massive responsibility.
Deep in my heart I hope and pray that I am completely replaceable, but a small part is sad that I am.
OK.  Enough.

I had lunch with one of my favorites of all time yesterday.  (and her mother and Stevie)  She will be a junior in college this fall and she has a gift tag, from a gift I gave her, hanging from the mirror in her car...ahhhhh.  I love my Gwen!

And I am leaving for a vacation in the Great Smoky Mountains tomorrow!  That sounds better than saying we are going to Dollywood, huh?  I love my mountain heritage.  Poor Little Husband will be here all by himself this week. 

No more whining.


K said...

This is a very good evening for whining. A very good one. If I could, I'd have driven over with you. but maybe that wouldn't have done either of us a favor today. I think I am now giving in to all those pockets of sadness that have been sitting under the surface. I really need to work them all out before the wedding. So that I can be perky and myself then. I am tired. I was too tired for five horses. And part of me is glad that Murphy will have someone else caring for him and planning with him so that I can get our bills paid and my desk cleaned up. And favors for the wedding. And. The rest of it.

I hope you have a wonderful vacation. A joyful, hilarious, wonderful time. I hope you sing out loud and eat something very naughty. And that when you get back, miracles will have happened at your house.

Donna said...

Kristen, I think we would be wonderful together in out little funk...listening hearts, holding hands and finally giggles. Life changes are hard...thrilling, challenging, inspiring, growing and just plain hard.
I am looking forward to a little down time in a beautiful place...but no internet connection...

W-S Wanderings said...

Yes, just plain hard. YOU are not replaceable, but the role is. And STILL it is sad. Milestones always carry shades of loss, I think. They bring growth and positives as well, of course, but the loss piece will not be denied. And eventually, when we are lucky, it becomes a loss peace. You know?


Donna said...

Kristen, I am oh so close to the loss peace part, really, I am. I don't mind leaving the position...would have loved actually training someone to take my place, but, there are just still moments now and again. Hugs are always welcome!